


Time and Place

by Julie_Horwitz



Category: Atlantis: The Lost Empire (2001)
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-22
Updated: 2014-03-22
Packaged: 2018-01-16 13:52:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1349755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Julie_Horwitz/pseuds/Julie_Horwitz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An "Atlantis: the Lost Empire" fanfic.  Helga deals with her painful past.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Time and Place

** Disclaimer: **

The following is a work of fanfiction. All characters and situations belonging to the animated feature film "Atlantis: the Lost Empire" are copyrighted to Disney Enterprises, Inc. Everything else, including original characters, is of my own creation. 

**Author's Notes:**   


"Time and Place" is a story about closure and renewal. The first half details what is really the end of the first phase of Helga's life. Part two shows how she is finally able to truly put the past behind her and move on. The fact that each half contains graphic sex is incidental.  
It is strongly recommended that you have read my Helga/Rourke trilogy ("Love's Illusions", "Love's Loyalties", and "Love's Legacy") before reading "Time and Place". This is a direct continuation of the storyline and expands upon the universe I have created in them. Many of the characters and situations mentioned will not make sense to you unless you have read the other stories.  
The word "mihlimn" is constantly used in the second half of the story. This is an Atlantean term I made up for "Love's Legacy". It means "love".  
A reminder that no one under the age of 18 should be reading this story. If you are underage, I must insist that you hit the back button on your browser immediately.  
All comments and questions may be sent to me at: jhorwitz@hotmail.com  
Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy the story.

 

 

 

**_Time and Place_**  
by Julie Horwitz 

 

 

"Let's try this one," Rourke told Helga as he pointed to yet another of the many shops that lined the Atlantean streets. 

"Yes, Commander," Helga nodded, fighting to keep the fatigue out of her voice. She was exhausted from the hours of fruitless searching, but she didn't want to let Rourke know how she was feeling. She knew how important finding that crystal was to him and she didn't want him to have to stop searching on her account. 

However, she still felt incredibly guilty about her role in the impending theft. What they were doing wasn't right. There were no ifs, ands, or buts about it. Taking something that didn't belong to you was wrong, period. It didn't matter how you looked at it. (Rourke could put as many spins on what they were doing as he liked, but that wasn't going to change how she felt.) 

And what about the crystal itself? What did they really know about it? Everything they knew was based on a single picture. What if it wasn't really a simple crystal at all? What if it was dangerous? How could they risk actually bringing it back to the surface without knowing what it was? 

Then there was the Atlantean people to consider. While Rourke kept insisting that they virtually no longer existed and nothing that was done to them would matter, Helga knew better than that. They were alive and, from what she could tell, thriving in this hidden paradise. The crystal belonged to them and taking it was wrong.

Besides, there was no telling how its removal from Atlantis would affect them. Every Atlantean she saw wore a crystal pendent around his or her neck, including the infants. To her, this spoke volumes about how important crystals were to the people in general. Perhaps this especially large one held some kind of significance for them, which would make taking it an even worse crime than it already was.

Yet, once again, here she was helping Rourke do something that she knew was wrong only because he wanted her to. Why was it that she could never say no to him? She almost had this time, but when he had promised to finally marry her, how could she have turned him down? She knew this was probably her one and only opportunity to get him to marry her. She had to grab it. She loved him so much and wanted to be his wife more than anything. 

He looked at her, seemingly studying her for a moment. "You look tired, Lieutenant." 

"I'm fine, sir," she lied, a wasted effort since Rourke always seemed to know when she was hiding something from him. But she had to try anyway. She didn't want him to stop looking if he wasn't ready. 

He was silent for a few seconds. Then, "On second thought, let's call it a day." 

Helga was surprised by his words. He was giving up already? It was only early evening and the "sky" was still bright blue. She would have sworn he would have searched until dark. 

As if reading her mind, he said, "There's no point in continuing to look. I think it's quite obvious that the king hid it. We would have seen some sign of it by now if he hadn't." 

She nodded in agreement. Besides the pendants, they had seen no crystals of any kind whatsoever. And, when indirectly questioned, none of the Atlanteans had given the slightest indication of knowing about a larger crystal. "So what are we going to do?" 

"We'll just have to bring in Thatch in the morning," he told her. "I'm sure everything we need to know is on that page." 

"You know he won't help us willingly," she pointed out. She knew Milo and he would be more adamant in taking anything from Atlantis than she was. 

"All he needs is a little of the right kind of persuasion," he assured her, "and then he'll do exactly as we tell him." 

She knew better than to ask what he meant by the "right kind of persuasion." Knowing Rourke, there would be no actual persuasion involved. Milo would never willingly help steal the crystal and she didn't want to know what Rourke planned on doing to force him to help. He hated Milo with a passion and Helga wouldn't put it past him to allow things to turn violent in order to get his way. 

"Now," he said, "I think we should find a place to stay for the night." 

"Good idea." She was drained, and now that she thought about it, starving too. The rations, unfortunately, had been left in the truck and she hadn't had anything to eat all day. And because Rourke followed the general rule of thumb about not eating the local cuisine until it had been deemed safe, she hadn't been able to accept any of the food offered to her by the Atlanteans. 

"We'll swing by the truck first and gather some rations and canteens to get us by until the morning," he told her, again as if reading her mind. "We can eat while looking for some place private." 

She did not have to be a mind reader to know why he wanted someplace "private". 

_Damn,_ she silently cursed. She was too tired to make love, but she knew Rourke wouldn't give her any choice. When he wanted sex, he got it. She could never resist him. 

"Come on," he said, turning back towards where they had left the truck.

Silently, she followed after him. 

*** 

Helga slowly chewed her ration bar, determined to make it last as long as possible. It wasn't the best tasting one she had ever had, but it sure as hell beat anything that Cookie could make. (What had Whitmore been thinking when he hired him?) 

As she ate, she trailed behind Rourke as he led her through the city once again. She was careful to remain slightly away from him as he had always instructed her. No matter where they were or what they were doing, he had told her, it needed to be obvious that he was the leader and that she was only the second-in-command. Body language was everything. Only when they were alone could she stand close and touch him. 

They came to the top of a stairway carved out of the rock. 

"I want to get as far away from civilization as possible," Rourke said, turning to her. "The lower level of a city is always sparsely populated." 

"What exactly are you looking for?" she asked. 

"Privacy," he smiled. 

She couldn’t help but smile back. She was feeling slightly more awake now and was starting to look forward to making love. It had been several days since she'd been with him sexually and she'd missed the warmth and closeness to him lovemaking gave her. 

"I love you," he told her in a low voice. "You know I’m doing this for both of us." 

"I know," she quietly replied. She had no doubt that he loved her, but she knew that his love of money came before his love of her. It bothered her, but it was part of who he was and she accepted it. And even though he promised things would change after this, deep down she knew that his desire for wealth would never go away no matter how rich he became from selling the crystal. 

"As soon as this is all over and we’ve sold the crystal, we’ll get married," he continued. "I’ll make you very happy, Helga. I’ll give you everything you’ve ever wanted." 

"I know," she repeated. _Even children,_ she silently added. Although she had never mentioned it to him, she wanted children as badly as she wanted marriage. It was her dream to have a family. And, for the first time since losing Chris, she felt like this dream could actually come true. 

Rourke smiled at her again and then started down the stairs. 

Once again, Helga followed him. 

*** 

"Perfect," Rourke decided as he led her into what had to be the most beautiful place she had ever seen. 

They were standing in a clearing strewn with plant life and broken ruins. At the far end, there was a waterfall that cascaded down into a gently flowing stream that ran to the land’s edge and emptied into the vast "sea". Trees and tall grass surrounded them. Except for the strange bird creatures that flew overhead, there was no one else in sight. 

Rourke had indeed found someplace perfect. 

And private. 

"Make yourself at home, Lieutenant," he told her as he sat down on a large boulder and began to pull his boots off.

Helga didn’t need to be told twice. Immediately, she walked over to the stream’s edge and sat down. She pulled the boots from her aching feet, tore off her socks, rolled up her pants legs, and plunged her feet into the water. It was instant relief. 

She leaned back on her elbows and closed her eyes. It had been a long time since she had been this tired. Although she had worked out religiously over the past three years, no amount of strenuous exercise could ever equal the torture an expedition put on the human body. She had probably done more walking trying to find a place to spend the night than she had typically done in two weeks while working for Whitmore. 

Suddenly, she felt a kiss planted on her shoulder. She opened her eyes to see Rourke sitting next to her. 

He kissed her again, this time on the neck. "I hope I wasn’t too hard on you today." 

She straightened herself up into a normal sitting position without removing her feet from the stream. "Of course not. It’s just that I haven’t been on one of these in a while and my body’s still adjusting." 

"When I saw how tired you were, I knew it was time to stop," he said, reaching out to caress her cheek. "I need you to be at your best tomorrow." 

She looked away from him. The reminder of what they were here to do caused a wave of guilt to crash over her. 

"I still don’t think we should go through with this," she told him. "The people may not know about it, but it’s obvious that this crystal’s important to them. Just look at their pendants. We have no right to take it." 

"Helga," Rourke sighed. "Don’t make me go through this again." 

"I can’t help the way I feel," she said, still not looking at him. Her gaze instead traveled around the clearing. Like everything else in Atlantis, it was incredibly peaceful. Stealing the crystal would destroy that peace. "And I feel that this is wrong." 

There was a silence between them. 

"Does this mean you've changed your mind then?" 

She stared at him in disbelief. "God, how can you even ask me that? I love you, Rourke, and I promised you that I’d help you. I just don’t like what we’re doing and I wish that you’d change your mind. But as long as you’re going through with this, I’ll be by your side. You should know that." 

"I’m sorry," he apologized. "The way you were going on about it, I thought you were backing out on me."

The words cut into Helga's heart. How could he even think that? After what he had promised her? He knew how important marriage was to her. He _knew!_

Feeling incredibly hurt, she silently pulled her feet from the water and stood up. She then walked away from him. 

Almost immediately, she felt his arms wrap themselves around her from behind.

"I'm sorry, my love. I didn't mean to hurt you," he said quietly.

"I can't believe you'd think that I'd change my mind," she told him. "I made a promise. Isn't my word enough?"

He pulled her tighter against him and kissed her cheek. "God, I'm sorry."

She leaned heavily into his embrace. "I love you so much."

"I love you too. I opened my mouth without thinking," he told her. "I know that you'd never back out on me. You're the most loyal person I know."

"You're all that matters to me," she murmured. "I don't want to lose you again. I'd do anything to keep you with me."

"I'm not going anywhere," he assured her. "We're in this together for the long run. 

"Now," he continued, loosening his grip on her and turning her around to face him, "I don't want to hear any more about this crystal business. I only want to spend the night focusing on what's really important.

"Us."

She looked up at him and met his eyes. They were so full of love. Love for her and nothing else. She was so lucky to have him in her life. She didn't think she could go on without him anymore.

"Now that we're engaged," he went on as she felt him move his hands down her back, "we're going to have to start thinking about where we want to spend our wedding night."

The gentle motion of his hands along her back instantly aroused her. Any last traces of her exhaustion were immediately washed away.

"Don't we have to think about the wedding first?" she teased.

His hands reached her waist and she felt him pull something from her clothing. 

_Flare gun,_ she realized as she heard the slight metallic thump on the ground. She had forgotten that she had tucked it into her pants after the crash in the cavern.

"What's there to think about? All we need is a justice of the peace and you'll be my wife."

"You have this all figured out, don't you?"

"Of course." And then he leaned in and kissed her.

Rourke's kisses were always both passionate and powerful. She loved the feelings they brought to life inside her, both emotional and physical. They never failed to coax a response from her.

As he kissed her, she felt his hands work to unfasten her gun belt. He quickly undid the buckle and she felt it fall from around her waist. Next, he began to tug the bottom of her shirt out of her pants. When it was free, he broke the kiss and she raised her arms to allow him to lift it over her head.

Dropping the shirt, he pulled her close again and pressed his lips to hers for another long and drawn out kiss.

The level of her arousal increased as he deepened the kiss and pressed his body closer to hers. She could feel his erection as it pressed against her through his clothing. She loved him so much and craved the feeling of his penis inside of her. She only wanted to become one with him. 

She felt him begin to unhook her small strapless bra. When the hooks were undone, without breaking the kiss, he slightly backed away from her, pulled it from her, and tossed it to join her discarded shirt on the ground. He then pulled her back to him.

Waves of pleasure shot through her body as his shirted chest brushed against her bare nipples.

Next, he began to lead her somewhere. Still kissing her, he guided her until her back was pressed hard against something rough and she could go no further.

Finally, he ended the kiss. "I've been very lonely these past few nights. All I could think about was you."

"You could have paid me a visit, you know," she smiled. "There's nothing suspicious about a commander visiting his lieutenant, even at night."

"Maybe, but I wouldn't have been able to trust myself," he told her, fondling her breasts. "Being with you is too..." He leaned down and kissed the crease between them. "...tempting."

She looked out over his bent back and saw the trees and grass through which they had come. For a moment, she had forgotten that they were out in the open and not somewhere indoors where no one could see them. Anyone could walk in on them at any time and she felt extremely exposed.

"What if someone sees us?"

"Then we'll give them a show they'll never forget," he told her as he straightened up. He gently squeezed and massaged her breasts. "We'll make them jealous."

A moan escaped her lips. What he was doing to her felt so good. 

"You can be so evil sometimes," she informed him.

"'Sometimes'?" He brought his mouth to her neck and sucked on it. Trailing kisses up the side of her face, he leaned into her ear. "I thought I was evil all the time."

She gave a tiny laugh.

He then continued kissing her along her cheekbone until he found her mouth again and caught it in yet another kiss.

Helga felt like she could orgasm at any second even though he hadn't even touched her vagina yet. His hands and mouth were working wonders on her upper body alone. He was so incredibly gifted at lovemaking. She didn't think there was anything he could do to her that was unpleasant.

His hands left her breasts and started traveling lower on her body. She felt him reach around her back and then start moving up again. Suddenly, he stopped and she felt one of his hands leave her back as a slight tug pulled at her braid.

He broke the kiss and she watched as he brought her long braid over her right shoulder.

"What are you doing?"

"You know I like you better with your hair down," he told her as he began to undo the tie that fastened it.

She reached up and tried to pull her hair from him. "Don't. Please."

He knocked her hand away and resumed working on the tie. "Why?"

"Because," she said, "it took a very long time to do. I made it so that it wouldn't come loose until I took it out myself. It was meant to last until we got home."

"I'm sure it'll be fine when you rebraid it in the morning," he informed her, pulling the tie from her hair and starting to undo it one tiny segment at a time. "I want to make love to you with your hair down.

"And," he continued as he brushed his fingers over her right breast as he unbraided, causing her to suck in her breath, "I always get what I want."

There was no need to respond to that.

They were silent as he finished unbraiding her hair. He tossed her now-free tresses back over her shoulder. 

"That's better," he decided. "You're so beautiful with your hair down."

"Meaning I'm not when it's up?" she asked teasingly.

He stepped back from her. "What do you think?"

"I don't know. You tell me."

He reached down and around her waist. "I think this'll clear things up for you," he said as he started to unzip her pants.

"I love you," she told him. 

"Good." Her pants began to slide down over her hips as he pulled her close and kissed her once again.

His hands traveled back around to her front and one of them pushed down beneath her panties.

He deepened the kiss as his hand found the vaginal lips and pushed between them, causing her to moan.

Helga cried out into his mouth when he made contact with her clitoris. 

He pulled away from her and smiled as he continued to rub his finger over the hypersensitive bump of flesh.

Her eyes fell closed as the pressure built in her vaginal muscles, bringing her even closer to orgasm. Her hips reflexively bucked forward.

Then, he pulled his hand away.

Her eyes flew open and she stared at him in disbelief. He had never done this to her before. She had been on the very edge, ready to come at any second. Why had he stopped?

"What-?"

"Shh," he whispered. "Patience, my love."

He reached out and pushed her pants the rest of the way down her legs. Next, he did the same with her panties and then had her step out of both at the same time. Finally, he kissed her again and once more pushed her back against the same hard object.

Then Rourke began to move away from her mouth. His lips traveled down over her chin, to the underside of her neck, and down onto her chest. He lowered himself to his knees as he went. His hands were clamped around her waist.

From her chest, he went directly back to her breasts, this time using his mouth rather than his hands. First, he worked on her left breast, kissing and sucking the soft flesh as he worked his way to her nipple. Once there, he pulled it into his mouth and began to suckle her.

Helga moaned and cried out with pleasure. She was still shocked about not being allowed to orgasm before, but what he was doing to her now more than made up for it.

After he finished with her left breast, the right was given an identical treatment which received an identical reaction.

He completed his ministrations and then resumed his travel down her body. His lips left a moist trail along her abdomen. 

She writhed under him, her body on fire. And the closer he got to her vagina, the more excited and aroused she became. She could feel the increasing wetness between her legs.

Finally, he reached the pubic area. He planted a kiss right about her mass of hair and then backed slightly away from her. 

Helga watched as Rourke maneuvered himself so that he was between her legs and she could no longer see his face. She felt him spread her legs widely apart and she immediately knew what he was doing. Her suspicions were confirmed when she felt the first kiss on one of her inner thighs.

He continued to kiss her, moving higher up between her legs. When she felt him begin to suck on her labium, she moaned loudly.

“Oh, god!”

He finished sucking and she felt him then spread the lips apart with his fingers. His mouth made its way between them, alternating between kissing and sucking. When he finally found her opening, he pushed his tongue inside her.

“Oh, god!!!” she gasped.

Helga nearly bucked underneath his mouth, but Rourke held her steady with his hands. All she could do was moan and cry out as his tongue moved in and out of her. She could feel herself approaching orgasm again. 

After awhile, when she was sure she was going to come any second, Rourke stopped the tongue penetration. He immediately started kissing her again, this time starting directly above her opening. Within seconds, he took her clitoris into his mouth.

She cried out again, the pressure within nearly reaching the point of no return. 

And just when she thought she couldn’t take any more, Rourke surprised her by entering her with his fingers and starting to circle and pump them.

Within moments, she climaxed, nearly screaming his name.

"Rourke! Oh, god!"

Slowly, he disengaged from her. First, he released her clitoris from his mouth, pressing his lips against it in a gentle kiss. Then, he pulled his fingers from inside of her. He moved his mouth to where his fingers had been and kissed her again.

Helga was too breathless to speak. This had only been the second time Rourke had performed cunnilingus on her while having her stand. But either lying down or standing up, it felt incredible and she wished he would do it to her more often.

He stood up and pulled her to him, drawing her into another kiss. His lips were sticky with her own lubrication and she recognized her own sour taste on him. She became aroused again almost effortlessly.

As he broke the kiss, she mused, "The things you do to me."

He ran a hand along the right side of her face. "I'm far from done, my love. I haven't even gotten to the best part yet."

She smiled. "Then I suggest you hurry up. Or I may just have to take matters into my own hands."

He backed away from her, starting to pull his shirt off at the same time. "I don't take orders from my lieutenants."

"How about requests?"

His shirt fell to the ground. "Try me."

"I need to feel you inside of me."

He smiled as he unzipped his pants. “Aren’t you forgetting something?”

“Please.”

He pushed his pants down and stepped out of them. Now, clad only in his boxer shorts, he returned to her. "Request accepted."

"I love you," she softly told him.

His only response was to gently kiss her.

"Are you ready to fulfill my request?" she teased as he ended the kiss, motioning towards the large bulge in his boxers.

He took her hand and pressed it against his erection through the material. "Does that answer your question?"

"Perfectly."

Taking her other hand in his, he placed both of her hands on his waistband. "If you'll do the honors."

"With pleasure," she smiled, glad that she was being allowed to participate for once. Slowly, she guided the boxers down, rubbing the material against his penis as she went. When his erection was uncovered, she reached out to give him a gentle caress.

“Lieutenant.”

She pulled her hand away and looked up at him.

“Finish what you started.”

“Yes, sir,” she murmured, a little disappointed that she was limited in what she could do to him but not surprised. Rourke always wanted to be in total control and be the one doing all the pleasuring. She didn't think it was right, but it was no use arguing. He was never going to change. 

She quickly pushed the boxer shorts down his legs and stood back up as he stepped out of them. 

Rourke pulled her into his arms and began to kiss her once again, guiding her back to whatever he kept pressing her up against. As he kissed her, she felt his hand reach down and guide his penis towards her opening. 

He entered her slowly, causing her to moan into his mouth.

When he had filled her completely, he leaned forward, pressing her harder against the object. One at a time, he took her legs and wrapped them around his waist, deepening his penetration. He slid his hands to her buttocks and firmly grasped her there. 

He began to move inside of her while keeping her pressed up against the wall or whatever it was.

Helga broke the kiss and leaned her head back. She continued to moan and cry out with every thrust, her body enveloped in complete ecstasy.

Rourke steadily increased the speed and intensity of his thrusts and Helga felt herself building towards climax. She tightened her legs around him and arched her back to try and deepen the penetration even further.

Finally, she orgasmed, waves of pleasure shooting through her body.

A few moments later, Rourke reached his own climax.

Helga raised her head and Rourke began to kiss her once again as he released his grip on her buttocks. He stepped backwards and allowed her to lower her legs so that she was standing as well. His hands slid up her back and he kept her pressed close to him, his penis still buried inside of her.

After another long kiss, he released her and stepped back, disengaging himself from her. "So, Lieutenant, was that to your satisfaction?"

"Far superior, sir," she answered.

"Excellent." He reached out and caressed her cheek. "Now I have a request of my own."

“Just name it,” she told him. “Whatever you want, if I can give it to you, it’s yours.”

“I’d expect nothing less of you, my love,” he said. He slid his hand backwards to push it through her hair. “You’re so beautiful.”

“Thank you,” she whispered, feeling very beautiful in that moment. 

“Now, about that request,” he went on, bringing some of her hair over her right shoulder. He smoothed it over her chest, gently brushing his fingers against her breast, sending sensation through her body and arousing her once more. “I want you to make love to me again.”

“I should have known,” she smiled. “Once is never enough for you.”

He smiled tightly and pressed close to her again. “Only when I’m with you.”

“I love you,” she repeated, not caring if it was getting old with him. She could never tell him enough how she felt about him. 

“And I love you,” he told her, taking her hand. He got down to the ground and pulled her with him.

He leaned in and kissed her once again, gently pushing her backwards until she was lying flat on her back. Without separating his lips from hers, he moved to straddle her.

Helga didn’t need to see him to know that he was already ready to enter her again. She could feel his new erection pressed against her stomach. 

“After tomorrow, we can spend every night like this for the rest of our lives,” he said.

The reminder of what the next day would bring brought her crashing back to reality. For a while, she had forgotten about the role she would play in stealing the Atlanteans' crystal. The guilt came back full force.

“I still don’t like this,” she told him.

“Now what did I tell you?” he scolded her as he slid down her body. “I didn’t want to hear anything else about the crystal.” 

“I’m sorry,” she apologized. “I-” 

She was cut off by the feel of his penis suddenly pressing against her vagina.

“I don’t want you to think about anything but this,” he said, pushing slightly into her and causing her to gasp. “Understood?”

“Y-yes,” she managed between breaths.

He pushed deeper into her. “Good.” He leaned down and planted a kiss between her breasts. “This night is only about us, my love. Enjoy it.”

“I’m sorry,” she repeated. 

“Don’t be sorry,” he told her, penetrating her a little more. 

“Oh, god,” she moaned.

“Just love me,” he continued as he started working on her left breast. “ _Make_ love to me.”

Her only response was to moan again.

He finished entering her, the familiar fullness of him pulling her mind away from the unpleasant things.

"We're going to be so happy, Helga," he told her as he kissed around her nipple. “I’ll give you everything you’ve ever wanted.” 

"I know," she softly answered, the guilt nearly forgotten as waves of pleasure cascaded over her.

"I promise."

And then he took her nipple into his mouth and Helga could no longer think about anything but what he was doing to her body.

*** 

Fourteen years later...

"Happy anniversary, my mihlimn," Brykloap said as he raised his water glass. "Thank you for what has been the most wonderful year of my life."

Helga couldn't help but smile as she raised her own glass. "Oh, yes, it's been absolutely perfect. Let's see, for the first five months, we had to deal with my pregnancy and all of its charming aspects. Moods swings were a particular favorite of yours, if I remember correctly. Then, there was those god-knows-how-many hours that I spent in labor. Now _that_ was an absolute joy. Which reminds me. We’re not having any more children.”

Brykloap laughed at the joke. They had just recently begun discussing the possibility of having another child sometime in the near future. Helga knew that Brykloap wanted a large family and she was more than willing to give it to him. 

“And, finally,” she went on, “for the past seven months, we still have yet to have a decent night's sleep thanks to our ever-hungry daughter." Little Amaleen still could not go an entire night without repeatedly waking up to nurse and Helga was grateful that her body could produce enough milk for her. (Amaleen would not accept any other liquid except for a tiny amount of juice in a bottle.) Both Helga and Brykloap were extremely concerned about her behavior, but, whenever they expressed their worry to Eyris, she would assure them that Amaleen was perfectly healthy and that no two babies were alike. "Give her time," she would tell them. "Oh, yes, I’m sure it _was_ the most wonderful year of your life.”

And while Helga appreciated her body's speedy milk production, tonight it was becoming an unwanted annoyance. It had only been three hours since she last fed Amaleen, but her breasts were already filled again. (She had already begun to leak and could feel the growing wetness on the front of her dress. She pulled her shawl even tighter around herself, thankful that she had remembered to take it at the last minute just in case this very thing happened.) This was her first night away from her daughter since she had been born and she was disappointed that it would have to be cut so short. Though she was not experiencing any pain yet, she knew the slight discomfort would rapidly worsen if the milk was not expressed soon. 

But, she could not go back to the baby just yet. Not until she completed the task she had planned for tonight. A task she had been planning for months. She only needed to hold on for a little while longer...

“It was,” Brykloap insisted, “because I spent it with you.” He took her free hand in his. “ _You_ made it all worth while.” 

She leaned forward as he lifted her hand and resisted the urge to wince as her milk-swollen breasts were pressed against the table. 

Brykloap brought her hand to his lips. “ _You_ are everything to me, my beautiful wife. I love you.” He kissed her hand tenderly.

“Well, when you put it _that_ way,” she grinned, ignoring the pain. “Cheers.”

“Cheers.”

They clinked glasses and then took a sip of their water.

“Best wine I ever tasted,” she gently teased. Water had been one of the very few liquids she had allowed herself since learning of her pregnancy. And now that she was nursing, it was even more imperative that she avoid anything alcoholic.

“I am glad you approve,” he told her lightly. “It took me forever to decide on just the right vintage.”

The two of them burst out laughing, not caring if any of the other diners in the restaurant looked at them. 

“I love you,” he said. “Thank you for making my dream come true.” He squeezed her hand. 

“I’m the one who should be thanking you,” she truthfully told him. “You stayed with me when any other man would have long given up." Most men would have left her after she had rejected their marriage proposal, but not Brykloap. He had loved her too much and told her that nothing would ever change that. 

So, for ten years, he had continued to remain by her side in the hopes that she would change her mind, asking her to marry him over and over again, until, finally, she had accepted. And, now that they were married, his love for her had only seemed to grow. She knew of no other man who would have been so patient, so understanding... What had she done to deserve someone so wonderful? "I'm so grateful to you."

"There is no need to be," he informed her. "I knew from the moment I met you that you would be the only woman I would ever love. No force in existence could have made me give up on you then, or even now. You were worth waiting for, my mihlimn. And I will keep telling you that until the day we are separated by death." 

“I love you,” she told him. 

"I love you too," Brykloap answer, releasing her hand.

Helga felt instant relief as she pushed herself off of the table's edge, though the feeling of fullness remained. 

She met his eyes and could only marvel at the love she saw in them. She loved him so much yet she knew the love she felt for him could never equal what he felt for her. She knew how truly lucky she was to have found someone like him, especially after...

Thinking of him reminded her of what she had to do and a coldness settled over her. She broke her eye contact with Brykloap, the still-lingering feelings of hurt and betrayal returning to the surface. 

"Helga? What is it?"

She didn't look up. "I..." she started, unsure of what to say. She had purposely not mentioned her plans to him because she knew how he'd react. He'd immediately switch his focus from celebrating their anniversary to trying to talk her out of it, which was completely unfair to him. This was supposed to be _their_ day. She didn't want to ruin it for him. This was a personal matter.

"What is bothering you, my love?" he gently pressed.

She finally brought her eyes back up to him. She badly wanted him by her side when she went to do this. She knew she would need his love and support if she had any hope of succeeding. But if she told him, he would be dead-set against her even going. 

"Please tell me," Brykloap urged.

She took a deep breath. "Will you come with me somewhere?" She felt guilty for misleading him, but she had no choice. If she didn't tell him until they were there, he could not force her to change her mind. 

"Of course," he answered. "I would go anywhere with you. You should know that. There is no need to ask."

_There is this time,_ she silently told him. "Thank you."

"Where is it that you want to take me?"

She looked back down. "Ask me again when we get there. I'll tell you then. I promise." 

There was silence for a moment and she was afraid that he would make her tell him.

"All right," he finally said. 

"Thank you," she said with relief as she raised her gaze. "Thank you."

Again, there was silence. She knew he wanted to press her about what was going on, but she knew he wouldn't because he loved and trusted her. What had she done to deserve someone like him?

Brykloap finally rose to his feet. "Go wait for me outside. I will pay the bill and then I will let you take me wherever you wish to go." 

"Thank you," she repeated. "I love you."

"I love you, my darling wife. Never forget that."

"I won't," she promised.

"I will be with you soon," he told her and then he walked off towards where the restaurant owner was standing and talking to a new arrival.

Helga waited a few seconds and then slowly pushed herself to her feet. Her breasts were starting to hurt now, and opening her shawl, she saw how bad the leakage had become. She needed to get to Amaleen as soon as possible.

_Not until I've done this first,_ she reminded herself, pulling her shawl tight. _Not until I've faced my past._

She began to walk towards the restaurant door.

*** 

Helga grew more and more nervous as she walked down the amazingly familiar path. She had not returned in fourteen years but it felt as if she had been here only yesterday. Each step brought back another memory of the passionate night she had spent with him. And each memory served as another reminder of what he had done to her not even a day later. 

God, how she had loved him! Rourke had been everything to her. She had never seen his betrayal coming. She had believed that he loved her and that she would spend the rest of her life with him. 

What a fool she had been. 

"How close are we?" Brykloap asked from behind her. 

"We're almost there," she promised as she saw the patch of tall grass that led directly into the clearing. _Almost there._

She stopped and turned to look at him. As she had asked, he was walking slightly behind her. She wanted to enter the clearing first, to give herself a chance to compose herself before Brykloap arrived. She did not want him to see her fall apart as she had not done in a year.

He had an expression of curiosity on his face but still refrained from asking her about their destination, for which she was incredibly grateful.

As he caught up with her, she took his hand in hers and squeezed it. He squeezed back and then she gently pulled her hand away. 

"Wait five minutes and then come after me," she instructed and then continued ahead without waiting for him to say anything.

Rourke had been dead over a year yet he still haunted her memories and dreams. He had been such an important part of her life for thirteen years and then, for thirteen more, the fear of his return had caused her to hurt the ones she loved. It was time to break free of his control. Tonight, she would finally put his ghost to rest.

Tonight, on the anniversary of her marriage to Brykloap, Helga would stop letting Rourke hurt her once and for all.

She passed through the tall grass, her heart pounding in her chest. Beyond the blades of grass was the last place she had truly made love to him. (She did not count the "dream" in which he impregnated her with Chris. He had manipulated her memories and made her forget everything that had happened after her last night with him at Whitmore's mansion.) For fourteen years, she had avoided it knowing the painful memories it would stir. Now she wanted to confront those memories head on and strip them of their power over her. No longer would they be allowed to hurt her. Rourke was dead. It was time to bury her memories of him too.

Finally, she reached the edge of the grass and came to a stop. She did not part the final blades. She was afraid of what she'd see and feel. 

For a moment, she continued to stand there with her heart still pounding and her breasts painfully throbbing. She felt the urge to run away, to tell Brykloap that she was finished and that she wanted to go home, but she resisted. She had come this far and there was no turning back now. She had to see this through.

Taking a deep breath and shutting her eyes, she took the final steps.

Helga waited a beat and then opened her eyes. She began to cautiously look around, her entire body shaking.

The clearing was exactly as she remembered it, beautiful and pristine. Nothing had changed at all. It was as if it was frozen in time.

As her eyes traveled, memories began to pour in faster than before. Rourke had taken her repeatedly throughout the night, never in the same spot more than twice. Every inch of the clearing was tainted by his touch. Every place her eyes landed triggered another memory of passion that cut deep into her heart. But it wasn't until she saw the stone wall that the full impact of what had happened here truly hit her.

The partial stone wall that he had held her against as he kissed her, touched her... _entered_ her.

Her chest burned and her eyes filled with tears. She had been so much in love with him. She had believed every word that came out of his mouth, especially the words of love. But they had all been lies. Hideous lies meant to control her. He had not cared about her at all. All that had mattered to him was what she could do for him. Other than that, she meant nothing.

"How?" she whispered, sinking down to her knees. "How could you do that to me?" A tear slipped down her cheek. "I _loved_ you." 

And then she lost control.

Suddenly, she felt herself pulled into a strong embrace.

"Please do not cry," Brykloap's voice gently murmured into her ear before she could jump. "You are safe now. He is gone. He cannot hurt you anymore." He started to rock her. "Shh. Please do not cry. I am here. I am here."

She continued to sob, fourteen years worth of pain rushing to the surface.

Brykloap just kept holding and rocking her.

"Shh, my love," he whispered. "You are safe."

She turned around in his arms and threw her own arms around him, slightly wincing as her breasts were pressed against him. She buried her face in his chest.

"How could he do that to me?" she murmured. "How could he look me in the eyes and lie to me? I loved him. I _loved_ him!"

"Shh," Brykloap soothed. "Please do not cry. You are safe. You are safe in my arms, my love."

"He sounded so sincere," she went on. "I thought he loved me. He would say 'I love you' and I believed him. I believed him!"

"Oh, my darling," Brykloap whispered, stroking her back and hair. "My poor mihlimn."

"How was he able to do that?" she asked rhetorically. "How could he make anything he said sound like he meant it? God, I could _hear_ love in his voice. And when he...when he..." She began to sob again.

Brykloap continued to make nice to her. "My love. My poor love. I am here. Please do not cry anymore." He kept holding and rocking her until her tears finally subsided.

"I'm sorry," she managed apologetically. "I'm so sorry."

"For what?" Brykloap questioned, pulling her tighter against him.

Helga involuntarily flinched as a sharp pain shot through her left breast.

"For losing it like this," she told him, turning her head so that her right cheek rested on him. "I shouldn't have come here. It was a mistake. I should have known I couldn't do it."

"Could not do what? What are you talking about? What is this place? Why did you come here?"

She took a deep breath. _This is it._ "This is the place where I spent my first night in Atlantis. Rourke...he...he found it and...and...brought me here. We...we..." She found herself unable to say the words, the very thought of his caress overwhelming her. He had been so gentle... So _loving_...

"You made love here," he finished for her.

"Yes."

"No wonder you are in such pain," Brykloap said. "Why in the world did you want to come back here?"

"You're going to think it's stupid when I tell you."

"I would never think that," he told her. "Tell me. Please."

"I had this idea that now that I was married to you and that he was really gone I would be able to finally stop letting him hurt me," she explained. "I thought that our anniversary would be the perfect day to say 'no more'. 'I'm over you'. And I decided that this would be the perfect place to do it because it was the last place we made love. 

"That is not stupid at all," Brykloap informed her.

"I knew coming here was going to be painful," she went on, ignoring his comment. "I just didn't realize _how_ painful." She felt new tears start to well up in her eyes. "All the memories came back. Every single one of them. And I couldn't... Couldn't..." The pain in her heart became unbearable again and she couldn't go on. 

"Shh, my love," Brykloap soothed. "He cannot hurt you anymore."

She started to cry again. "I'm sorry," she murmured.

Brykloap said nothing and only held her.

Finally, she regained control. "

"Why did you not tell me about this?" Brykloap quietly asked. "If I had known-"

"If you'd known, you would have tried to talk me out of this," she told him.

"Yes," he agreed. "I would have."

She broke out of his embrace and rose to her feet. She turned away from him and walked a few steps. "You don't know how badly I needed to be able to do this," she said. "Why do I have to be so weak?"

"You are not weak," Brykloap declared. "You are in pain. He has only been gone a year. It has not been long enough for the memories to fade on their own." She heard movement and seconds later she was in his arms again. 

"They never will," she quietly told him. "I remember everything he ever said to me. Everything."

"If only there was a way for me to make you forget," he said, kissing her on top of her head. "I wish I could take your pain away forever." 

"I love you," she softly whispered.

"My poor mihlimn," Brykloap murmured. "My sweet wife."

They fell silent again. 

"Maybe there is a way," he suddenly said. He turned her around in his arms. "It is the memories of what happened here that are causing you the pain, is it not?"

She nodded, unsure of where he was going with this.

"And do you agree that this place itself is very beautiful?" 

Again she nodded.

"Then let us make new memories."

Her eyes widened as she realized what he was suggesting.

Brykloap leaned down and kissed her, but she immediately pulled away from him and broke out of his arms. She took a few steps back.

As much as she would love to stay here and make love to him, she had a problem that needed to be addressed immediately. She was in physical pain. Unless she reached Amaleen soon...

"Helga? What is it? What is wrong?"

"N-nothing," she lied, not wanting to upset him that she had not mentioned her condition. "It's just that...it's late...and...and...we need to get Amaleen. You know how she gets. Kida has her hands full enough with Preston. She doesn't need to take care of a second baby any longer than she has to."

"Maybe she does not need to," Brykloap smiled, "but she wants to."

"What are you talking about?" 

He took a step closer to her. "The queen has given us an anniversary gift. She will keep Amaleen until we come to get her, be it tonight, tomorrow, or even the next day. She wants us to take time to ourselves."

"No," Helga managed, taking another step back. "W-we can't accept it. It's too...too generous. We can't do that to her. It's not fair."

He came closer again. "It was her idea. She has assured me she has enough milk to nurse both Preston and Amaleen. She also told me that we could not turn her down."

"Oh, no," Helga murmured, looking down and stepping back again. The pain was getting to be unbearable. "No..."

"Helga?" Brykloap sounded very concerned. "What are you not telling me?"

"I need to get back," she told him, still not looking at him. "I need to get to Amaleen."

She felt him take her by the shoulders. "What is the matter?"

She looked up at him and pulled out of his grasp, taking another step back. "I didn't think we'd be out this long."

"Why? What does it matter? What are you not telling me."

She took a deep breath. "This." And she opened her shawl.

Brykloap sucked in air. "Gods. Why did you not say anything?"

She looked at the front of her dress. On it were two very large milk stains. "Because you'd have taken me straight back to Amaleen and I wouldn't have gotten to come here. You have no idea how important this was to me."

"Not as important as your health," he informed her. "I thought you knew the danger of letting your breasts get like this."

"I do. I just wanted so badly to come here and be able to do this," she said. "I swore I thought it would only be a few minutes. I didn't know it would affect me so badly. I-"

"Shh," he cut her off, taking her face in his hands and tilting it so that she was looking at him. "What is done is done. You made a decision. I think it was a bad one, but it cannot be changed."

"I'm sorry."

"Do not be," he told her. "How bad is the pain?"

"Bad."

He ran his thumbs against the sides of her face. "Then let me take care of you." He leaned in and gently kissed her. "Let me take away your pain."

She said nothing as he released her face and then reached out to pull her shawl from her shoulders. 

"Why do you always have to be so stubborn?"

She had no answer for him as he let the shawl fall from him hands.

"You are your own worst enemy," he told her as he began to unlace her dress. His fingers were quick and steady from a year of experience. There was none of the fumbling that occurred their first time together. "I love you so much. You must stop doing things like this to yourself. I only want you to be happy, my love."

He finished with the lacing and, in a reprisal of his actions from their first time making love, he opened the front of her dress and planted a kiss between her swollen and sore breasts.

But even the gentle touch sent pain shooting through them and this time she allowed herself to cry out.

"I am sorry, my love," he apologized as he straightened up. "The last thing I ever want to do is cause you pain."

"You never could," she assured him. "God, I love you. You are so wonderful."

He smiled as he began to push her dress down. "Not as wonderful as you. It was worth the thousands of years I waited for you to come into my life."

She smiled back but could not think of anything else to say to him. She had run out of words to express her love.

Brykloap freed her arms one at a time. When her second arm had been pulled from the dress, it easily slid down her body and landed around her feet. He then took her by the hand and helped her step out of the pool of material.

He released her hand and moved to where he had dropped the shawl. He knelt down and spread it out like a small blanket. Then he looked up at her and held out his hand.

Helga took his hand in hers and she did not resist as he pulled her towards him. She went down to the ground where he immediately kissed her. 

As they kissed, he gently guided her to lay down on the shawl. He broke the kiss and moved to her side, where he sat back on his folded legs. He reached out and caressed her cheek. "Now to end your pain." Without another word, he leaned down and took her right nipple in his mouth.

Helga gasped in both pain and surprise as he began to suck.

It only took a few seconds before she felt the let-down and she knew that milk had been expressed into his mouth. 

"Oh, god," she murmured at the rush of sudden relief.

Brykloap made a muffled sound of pleasant surprise and then continued to suckle her.

"Thank you. Thank you," she breathed, her eyes falling closed. The pain and pressure were subsiding, a reality that had seemed so far away only moments ago. What Brykloap was doing for her... How could she ever repay him?

Suddenly, he stopped and she felt him pull away from her nipple. She opened her eyes in time to see him bring his face level with hers. Then, he kissed her. 

A warm, sweet liquid flowed into her mouth and she realized that it was her own milk.

Brykloap was sharing it with her.

The kiss was long and deep and, when he finally ended it, he pulled away and gave her a smile.

"It is no wonder Amaleen cannot get enough this," he told her. "It is very sweet." He kissed her again. "Almost as sweet as the woman who makes it."

"Thank you," she repeated.

He kissed her once more and then he returned to her breast.

As he continued suckling, he would kiss her and share milk every once in a while until he had emptied the breast entirely. He repeated the same pattern on her second breast.

Helga was relieved that the pain was gone though she was still sore and knew that she would be for several days yet.

Finally, she felt Brykloap draw out the last drops of milk. He released her nipple from his mouth and began to kiss the crease between her breasts.

"Thank you," she repeated. "Oh, thank you."

He said nothing and continued to kiss her, moving up her body until he finally reached her mouth.

As they kissed, he moved to straddle her.

Helga immediately became aroused. 

He separated his lips from hers. "How do you feel now, my love?"

"The pain is gone," she told him. "What you just did... I love you."

He stroked her cheek. "As I love you." He gave her a tight smile. "Do you still want to leave?"

"No," she confessed. She placed both of her hands on his waist. "I want to make love to you."

"We will cleanse this place," he declared. "We will make it ours."

She nodded in agreement and he kissed her once more.

Her hands began to tug at his shirt and then moved under it, running them along his chest and then onto his back.

The kiss deepened and Brykloap ran a hand over her chest, being extremely gentle when he touched her breasts.

She gasped into his mouth with pleasure as he lightly rubbed a nipple between his thumb and forefinger.

He ended the kiss and moved off of her. Before she could protest, he wordlessly removed his shirt and started undoing his sash.

Helga started to sit up so she could offer him her assistance.

"No," he told her. "Stay where you are."

She silently nodded and laid back down, already knowing what was coming next. They had started a tradition their first time together and it was one they never broke. "It is your own fault," he would always tell her. Though, tonight, she wished he would skip it and join with her first. In her mind, that was the only way to truly erase all traces of what had happened here fourteen years ago. 

He finished the sash and then quickly took off his kilt, allowing her to see how ready for her he was, which only served to make her more aroused and desperate for him to enter her. He crawled back to her and spread her legs apart. Next, he placed himself between them on his knees. 

She closed her eyes and waited. Although she didn't particularly want this now, there was no reason why she couldn't enjoy it. It always felt good and she never failed to orgasm for him. He would penetrate her soon enough.

When his fingers lightly brushed against her outer labia, her breath quickened. When he spread them apart to expose her vaginal opening, she moaned. And then, when he finally entered her, she cried out.

Brykloap expertly moved his finger inside of her, touching all of the places he knew would elicit a reaction from her. He circled and pumped, causing her to writhe under his hand.

"Oh, god," she moaned. "Brykloap..."

He said nothing and proceeded to place a second finger inside of her.

She gasped and thrust her hips upwards in an attempt to grant him deeper access.

He ran his fingers along the vaginal walls, massaging them as he went. He did not stop moving until he found that one special place that he loved to touch because of how it pleasured her.

She moaned loudly as he rubbed his fingers against it. The pressure building inside of her increased tenfold.

"I love you..." he said softly, "...my wife."

Helga could not find her voice to respond.

He sped up him movements, circling faster and applying more pressure as he went.

"Oh, god..."

Finally, she came and her muscles spasmed around his fingers, sending tidal waves of pleasure over her.

As she took a moment to collect herself, Brykloap leaned over and kissed her. He did not remove his fingers and began to gently move them again.

She moaned into his kiss, a new arousal already building.

He pulled away from her lips and kissed her chin. As he continued to circle his fingers inside of her, he trailed kisses down her body, again paying special attention to her sore breasts.

He kissed and lightly sucked on them, moving his lips around them. He took her nipples into his mouth and gently pressed his tongue against them.

It did not take her long to orgasm for a second time.

As he returned to her mouth, he removed his fingers. He kissed her deeply and passionately and readjusted himself so that he was stretched out over her. His penis pressed against her vagina and she resisted the urge to reach down and pull him into her. The finger manipulation had been wonderful, but not what she truly wanted... _needed._ She _needed_ for him to enter her. She _needed_ to be one with him.

She broke the kiss. "I love you."

"I love you," he responded and kissed her again, entering her simultaneously.

She gasped at the sensation.

He slowly filled her, drawing out the entry, much to her chagrin. She wanted him fully inside of her immediately. She squeezed her muscles, trying to speed up the process.

Brykloap did not give in to her and maintained his steady pace. Finally, he was completely embedded in her.

"Is this what you wanted?" he softly teased.

"Yes."

He only smiled and began to move. Then he kissed her on the lips again. As he kissed her, he began to slowly pump in and out.

Helga moaned with each thrust.

His mouth started to roam once more, finding its way onto her cheek, neck, and shoulder. 

"Oh god," she breathed as he sucked on the place where her neck and shoulder met.

He maintained his rhythm and started to increase his speed.

"Brykloap..." 

His only response was to move faster.

"God..."

He returned to her lips and kissed her deeply.

She spread her legs wider and bent them, raising her pelvis. She was very close. It would not take much more to push her over the edge.

Suddenly, he came and ejaculated inside of her.

"Helga!" he cried, burying his face in her shoulder.

Her own orgasm immediately followed.

"God!"

He collapsed on top of her, kissing her shoulder.

"I love you," she murmured, ignoring the slight pain in her breasts caused by the pressure of his body weight.

He kissed her neck. "And I love you, my mihlimn. My beautiful wife."

He returned to her lips and they began to kiss. He slid his hands along her arms and upper body.

As they kissed, she felt him harden while still inside of her, which aroused her again as well.

But, instead of starting the process over again, he ended the kiss and pulled out of her. He rolled onto his side and scooped her into his arms, pressing her tightly against him.

He kissed the back of her neck. "Happy anniversary, my mihlimn."

"Happy anniversary," she softly echoed.

She felt a hand slide down her body and push between her closed legs. A second hand followed and her legs were spread apart.

A hand went to her vagina and spread the lips open. Another gently touched her there, sending shivers of pleasure through her.

She moaned as his fingers found her clitoris.

He kissed the back of her neck again as she bucked against him. 

Then, he stopped.

Almost immediately, she felt him readjusting himself and, suddenly, he was entering her with his penis again.

"Brykloap..." she breathed as he joined with her.

"My love," he whispered as his free hand reached around her to touch her clitoris again, doubling the already powerful stimulation he was giving her.

Simultaneously, he began to pump inside of her and fondle her clitoris, causing her to cry out.

As he pleasured her, she let her eyes roam around her surroundings. To her surprise and relief, she no longer felt any pain. All she could feel was the intense pleasure Brykloap was giving her. The kind of passionate pleasure only a husband could give his wife.

No longer was this place tainted. It had been cleansed and renewed, saturated with love. Rourke's presence had been removed.

_You can't hurt me anymore,_ she silently told him. _I'm free now._

Then her mind was brought back to the present as she was sent into another earth-shattering orgasm.

Brykloap came at the same time, something that often happened between them.

She closed her eyes and leaned against him, feeling loved and protected.

"I love you," she told him once again.

He kissed her neck. "I love you."

"I'm free now," she whispered as he kissed her again on the neck and wrapped her tightly in his arms.

Free.


End file.
